Establishing Support Systems
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ― Henry Ford
Friends are the bulkheads of support. Sometimes, however, there can be a tendency to air your complaints to the friend ad nauseum. Commiserating too much will only serve to reinforce your negative view of yourself and others, not to mention be rather trying on your friends. Your friends or friend also have needs. Lend them your shoulder, if needed. There are also people you might befriend who want to do things, like activities or volunteering. You’ll have the inclination to turn them down, but this is detrimental to your own mental health. It also turns other people off. Go ahead– join their volunteer efforts if you can.
No one likes “needy” friends. You want the esteem of others, and you have a lot of positive qualities to share. Why be stingy about it? Take the risk and venture out of the self-constructed prison you have built around you. Give to the other, and the other will give back to you.
You do not need a LOT of friends. All you need in life is just a few faithful friends. Those friendships need nurturing, and then they will last a lifetime!
Do not be embarrassed to seek professional help. It would be very beneficial to locate a kindly, understanding counselor. This person is trained to be neutral and non-judgmental. Your counselor will see you from the outside, but later from the inside, as she or he ascertains your individual needs and personality.
It’s your counselor’s objective to help you feel better about yourself. As you start feeling more successful, your counselor will share in your success. The challenge lies in the interaction between the two of you. Therefore, it’s important to be as honest as you can without pretense. You’re not there to make a positive impression on your counselor.
Attempts to do that will only serve to delay your improvement. Shed the façade with her or him. Be yourself. In the accepting atmosphere of a counseling session, you can accomplish much, much more than you can by attending social gatherings or dealing with co-workers or employers.
Meeting with a counselor does NOT mean you’re crazy! You’re an anxious person. So is 80% of the world’s population, except monks! Your difficulties DO NOT lie in the fact that you have anxieties; it’s just that you may not be dealing with your anxieties effectively.
Some of your coping strategies have been backfiring, or you’re psychologically weary. Events in your past may have affected you in such a way that certain occurrences trigger a strong emotional response. In those instances, you may not be as objective as someone else might be. Do remember, though, that others have not lived through your experiences.
You have a personal history unlike that of anyone else. Sometimes it needs individual attention by a professional trained to help you re-evaluate your unpleasant experiences in a different light.
Take advantage of the open-air honesty you’re expressing. There are so many times in life when you cannot express your true feelings. Perhaps you feel too embarrassed. Perhaps you’re concerned about hurting another person. Only with friends or with a valued counselor can you drop your outward mask, and be your real self.
5 Signs of “Emotional Attraction From Men” (Versus Physical Attraction)
Hi Adam, I’ve been hooking up with this guy for the past month and I get the feeling that it’s all physical, and no emotional connection with him. The worst part is, I’m starting to develop feelings for him but I’m scared to let my guard down, how do I know whether or not he feels the same way?
Ah, so he wants the sex, but he doesn’t want to make it complex.
Men feel stuff, too OK. The harsh reality is though that men can have sex with a girl with literally ZERO emotional connection
He’s willing to hang out with you during the day
He’ll talk on the phone for extended periods of time
* He’ll do something more on a second/third date than just “go out for drinks”
He is just generally willing to hang out without sex always being at the forefront of the activity